I have been so excited about my book coming out in September – hyper happy kind of excited. But over the past week, the nerves and fear have hit me again and the excitement has been interrupted with feelings of uncertainty. It started when a friend asked if I was ready for people to read my book. ‘Of course!’ I said, ‘this is what I’ve been waiting for’. Then fear whispered ‘what if they don’t like it?’ I pushed it aside. A few days later an author who I adore agreed to read my book. I was literally jumping around my house in elation. But fear whispered again, a little louder this time, ‘what if she doesn’t like it?’ It wasn’t as easy to push aside this time, I confided in my husband how scared I was and he reminded me that I can’t grow without feeling fear. Then yesterday, as I was scanning my manuscript to give my OK on the final proofread, I found a paragraph I wasn’t sure about – but it’s too late to edit now, that time has passed. Panic set in, and this time fear roared at me, ‘this isn’t good enough.’ It took a lot longer to push aside this time. Meditation helped and so did reminding myself what I love about my story and characters. Today, I have my excitement back and I’m grateful for that little lapse in my self-belief. It caused me to accept that my book isn’t perfect – but I love it anyway. There will be people who read it and don’t like it. But more importantly, it comes from my heart and I know that there will be many women who connect to my characters and enjoy the reading journey. It’s been an uncomfortable week and I’m sure there’s plenty more discomfort to come – but I wouldn’t change it. I’ll accept my fear and nerves, I’ll even thank them, but then I’ll kindly ignore them and get on with what I’m trying to do; share my words with the world.
If there’s a dream or goal you’re putting off until you overcome your fear, my advice is to instead accept your fear – thank it, ignore it, then go for your dream anyway!
